This is a recent radio interview I did during my visit to Scotland over Christmas. It was an incredible trip, both personally and professionally. Going back to my home town of Glasgow is always a significant experience for me, particularly since moving to Malta permanently in 2008. It reminds me of where I’ve come from and how much I still love the city where I grew up. Maybe it’s true that you only grasp the magic of the familiar when you’ve gained some distance, but I always loved Glasgow and I always always will.
Glasgow is the setting for my novel Vandalism which was not only published in Malta by Merlin Publishers in 2015 but was subsequently shortlisted in the category of ‘Best Novel’ by the National Book Council of Malta. This was a huge honour and privilege for me, especially as my novel was the only work written in the English language which made it to the final five on the list. Quite an incredible thing.
Vandalism has long since held a deeply important place within my own personal history as it followed me around for many years before reaching actual publication. In the interview, Shirley Whiteside describes it as something that ‘haunted’ me and I like her use of this word. The story, albeit fictional, draws upon my own experience of my Mum’s death through breast cancer, my childhood and teenage years growing up in Glasgow, and all the friends and places which shaped by early life and who I am today.
Perhaps it was only in the moment of responding to Shirley’s image of the novel ‘haunting’ me that I realised it no longer did, or, at least, not in terms of the darker and more negative connotations associated with the word. There has been some kind of resolution to the painful emotions which triggered the novel, even though this has been a process lasting many many years, mirroring the journey of the book itself.
There is something very fitting, and very satisfying, about the situation I currently find myself in, and I say this against the backdrop of a global context which stands in bleak contrast. So as I reflect on my own personal experiences, on the pattern of my own specific pathways through life, and, included within this, an increasingly spiritual awareness, I’m forever conscious of the wider structures and forces in place in which any and every individual life takes shape.
Vandalism is possibly a pertinent title in this respect, describing the ongoing acts of sabotage and willful carnage enacted on the international political stage, with Brexit and Trump’s election being the most obvious examples. Nevertheless, Vandalism, for me, is about reconciliation, compassion, about the bringing together of unresolved grief, anger, and self-destructive energies. The most fruitful acts of vandalism are those which intentionally make a statement in themselves, paving the way open for new and alternative ways of being, perceiving and radically reconfiguring. It can, as it did for me, involve rupture, disfiguration, agonising crises, and painful but necessary moments of catharsis, without which comes the risk of annihilation: the nature of our tenuous human condition perhaps and yet, simultaneously, the possibility of progress through survival.
The text of my novel Vandalism survived across the years and followed me through different phases of my life and within different countries. It haunted me in that the themes and conflicts underpinning the story had the potential to pull the ground from beneath my feet without any warning.
Vandalism encompasses a span of 18 years between its original conception on pen and paper and its ultimate completion in published form. While the idea of ‘completion’ seems a little too final, it conveys, to me, a sense of reconciliation between my past and my present which, no longer quite as disturbing or at odds with each other, enables acceptance of the connection between the two.
Vandalism; a novel set in Glasgow, published and acknowledged in Malta.
Vandalism: a novel on sale in Malta and in Glasgow.
Vandalism: a bridge that carries me home.
Vandalism (Merlin Publishers 2015): available from leading bookshops across Malta, at #Waterstones Bookshop Byres Rd Glasgow, and from http://www.merlinpublishers.com
Post by @ShirlWhiteside.